Pinky and Brain; Oh I mean Vinny and Danny; Sorry

By John D. McKinnon, Jr.

One of my favorite cartoons as a young adult was Pinky and The Brain. For those not familiar with this animated gem, it was a spin-off from the 90's cartoon show, "Animaniacs." The shows key protagonists were two laboratory mice by the names of Pinky and Brain. As a result of a gene altering lab experiment, these mice were granted the ability to speak, reason and walk upright. With alternatives such as hunting for cheese and running from cats, it would seem this new liberation could be considered the pinnacle of a mouse's life. These mice however, had other plans and Brain specifically seemed hell-bent on world domination. Every episode Pinky would approach Brain and say something to the effect of, "What are we doing today Brain?" Brain's response was always, "The same thing we do every day Pinky, try to take over the World." Though the spooky, monotone voice Brain always responded with was convincing, his plans were always foiled. In fact he was lucky if they both made it out of their cage by the closing credits. Pinky and Brain were polar opposites in regards to personality and intelligence. Brain as his name suggests had supreme intelligence, while Pinky wasn't too bright. In fact, Pinky appeared to be a liability and it was unclear why Brain kept him around. Possibly it was for the company. Unfortunately, the show's last episode aired in the late 90s and my television watching experience had not been the same until recently.

Not too long after that a gentleman by the name of Dan Snyder bought our beloved Redskins and brought along his sidekick Vinny Cerrato. Snyder appeared to be a genius since he built a fortune and had become a billionaire by the time he was in his 30s. Cerrato, a former college quarterback and companion of Snyder, was given the title, "Executive Vice President of Football Operations." I think that means he's something like a general manager but don't quote me on that. Danny was short in physical stature, however very powerful and smart. Vinny seemed not quite as resourceful but Danny always kept him around. Danny set the standard for aggressively spending money for players and although his teams never seemed to gel, he refused to abandon the trend. Vinny never seemed to have a definitive role and seemingly made poor choices regarding personel but Danny has maintained him throughout.

Wait guys, do you notice a parralel here? Suddenly, I just realized we may be revisiting Pinky and Brain all over again. Now all Redskin fans can relive the magic and awe that I experienced through watching one of my favorite cartoons. Sure we probably won't win a Superbowl or another playoff game until Danny fires Vinny or sells the team but look at what we're gaining in the process. Who needs an owner that makes good decisions and puts his team in a position to win when you can have an owner that wants to "Take Over The World" (Or at least the NFL). I'm suddenly realizing that the whole being a fan thing and wanting your team to win are secondary and tertiary in relation to experiencing the second coming of Pinky and Brain. Witnessing the comedic adventures of Vinny and Danny is worth the price of admission. Admittedly, before I started this article I had such a negative perception of Mr. Cerrato and Snyder but now I see them in a totally different light. Now we can join all the other NFL owners and their respective teams in laughing at the failures of Snyder's fiendish plots.

Hail To The Redskins!

This Just In: The Skins Need a Defensive Line

By John D. McKinnon, Jr.

Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, aparitions and UFOs are all elements of the unknown. We cling to these fabled mysteries with awe and fear of the possibility they could be true. Some mysteries however, aren't as captivating. Which brings us to the point of this article. (I'm actually going somewhere with this.)

For years the Washington Redskin's front office has ignored the fact that their Defensive Line has been one of the NFL's weakest at pressuring opposing quarterbacks. This glaring deficiency seems to be the one area the Redskins have not addressed. Even agents Mulder and Scully would experience many sleepless nights attempting to figure out why.

The Skins have addressed every other position during the last few years and have not had a formidable defensive line since the days of Dexter Manley. Sure the Redskins have boasted decent defensive ends such as Marco Coleman, Kenard Lang and Andre Carter but they haven't had a collectively dominant line since the mid 80s. One of the positives over the past four seasons has been the overall production of the defense despite not having a respectable pass rush. Credit for this has to go to Greg Williams whose been able to get by on his ingenious schemes. Greg has utilized crafty and sneaky blitzes from unlikely positions to generate pressure, however sending cornerbacks, safeties, linebackers and occasionally fans after the quarterback can only hold up for so long. Greg Williams has benefited from having one of the league's best defensive backfields for the past four years, which makes it difficult for receivers to get open. On the other hand, our weak pash-rush allows accurate, savvy quarterbacks to pick the secondary apart since they have so much time to throw.

It's no coincidence that the Skins have trouble creating turnovers, since many turnovers are caused by disrupting the quarterback. The aforementioned Andre Carter has been a welcomed surprise to the Redskins. He appears to be very comfortable and adds fire and speed to an aging, talentless defensive line. Most of Andre's sacks this year have not come off of the intial burst but would usually come after the quarterback had gone through his progressions and found no one open. In the universal football dictionary this situation is known as a "coverage sack." Which means the offensive lineman can only block someone for a certain length of time and consequently, the quarterback will get sacked if he has no one to throw to.

How do we resolve the issue? I don't think it requires covert officials from Area 51 to figure it out. In fact, it's quite simple. In April there's an event known as the NFL Draft where teams choose young talented players to improve their teams. This draft has been known to add depth and improve teams throughout the league. If the Redskins keep their picks (provided we have any this year) we need to draft a pass-rushing Defensive End to play opposite of man-beast Andre Carter. But what if he's a bust? But he may be too small to play on running downs. But it usually takes 2 to 3 years for a rookie defensive lineman to develop. Ok, maybe this is true. But its also true that the current Skin's Defensive line (save Carter) hasn't developed after nine or ten years. Then again maybe they have developed and just aren't that talented. As a die-hard fan, I'm writing with the hopes we will finally address our D-line woes and make Greg William's job a little easier. Maybe we can go for a pass-rushing defensive tackle in free-agency provided he's feasible.

Will we ever find the Abominable Snowman, and the secrets of the Bermuda Triangle? Or will we discover life on Mars or capture a live Yeti? Whether these mysteries are ever resolved or not, lets just hope the Skins improve their line before they happen.

Hail To The Redskins!

Does Dan Snyder Know What He's Doing?

As a die-hard Skin's fan since I can remember, I've been thoroughly disappointed with the teams direction in recent years. Like most Redskin's fans that remember the glory days of the eighties, I've come to expect a lot more from the burgundy and gold. In Joe Gibb's first tenure with the team he was Obi-Wan Kenobiesque in his knowledge and direction. The team seemed to be superior in every facet (i.e. Owner, GM, Head Coach, Defensive Coordinator, Quarterback, Kicker, popcorn vendor; you guys get the point.) However, after the 92' season, all that seemed to change.

The Redskins were suddenly introduced to the reality of free-agency and the salary cap, which was built on the premise of "parity". Certain teams, including the Redskins had built dynasties and didn't appear to be slowing down. Subsequently, the league stepped in and said, "wait these other teams need to get better."

After the salary cap, teams had monetary limitations on which players they could sign and many times were forced to release some of their core players. Building a team around guys that love to be Redskins was a staple of the organization through the glory days but came to a halt shortly thereafter.

Now comes Mr Snyder. Snyder took the league by storm as he set the standard for over-spending and provided a model for others never to follow. Snyder is not totally at fault. As he aligned himself with a staff (i.e. Vinny Cerato, Norv Turner) as clueless as he appeared to be, it became apparent, he had no idea how to run a football team. From signing several thirty plus year old players to trading away the best cornerback in the league and a 2nd rounder for a promising running back, Synder failed time and time again.

In his defense, it appears he conceded his lack of knowledge in the area of football when he gave Joe Gibbs autonomy during his recent run as coach and president. Now that Gibbs is gone, he gives Vinny (Oh, is that what a GM does?) Cerato a promotion and is courting a head coach in Jim Fassel that has barely won over 50 percent of his games as a head coach. I would love to find out next January that I'm wrong in my assessment and "The Danny" is finally on track. Only time will tell.

Hail To The Redskins!